You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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