Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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