Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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