Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
