She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
