did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
