Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I met the friendliest cop last night
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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