So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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