Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
