So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
