why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
