i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
