And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
