Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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