that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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