What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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