She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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