we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
