God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
