hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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