But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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