i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
