im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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