with your own penis?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize