It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
