bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
