Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
