Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
