woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
