We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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