i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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