i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
