I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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