I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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