This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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