The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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