two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
