ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
