Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
