I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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