Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
