This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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