put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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