Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
