Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
