The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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