i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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