Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
