Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
