been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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