i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
