It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize