Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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