Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
