When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
