My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and she was petting her beer can
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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