Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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