You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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