Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
