Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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