you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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