so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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